Magic 8 Ball: The Movie

Is Paramount finally scraping the absolute bottom of the toy-based movie barrel? All signs point to yes. That’s right, according to Deadline, they are actually planning to make a movie based on one of the most useless toys to ever exist; the magic 8-ball.

In an amusing bit of irony, Christian screenwriting team Jon Gunn and John Man have been commissioned to write the screenplay. I wonder how they feel about going from a faith-based action movie (Mercy Streets) to a movie based on a toy which encourages young children to believe in the occult.

This has to be some sort of joke, right? A comedy based on an absurd premise? Outlook not so good. Apparently, it’s going to be a serious adventure movie likely based around a magic 8-ball that is always correct (no actual plot has been revealed yet, but really what else could they do?). Personally, I think Paramount should have consulted its own magic 8-ball before optioning the rights to the product, and if it is always right, it would have suggested that the likelihood of this movie actually being worth a damn is ‘very doubtful’.

I took the liberty of asking my magic 8-ball whether or not Paramount will ever manage to top itself in ridiculous movie ideas, but like the noncommittal piece of junk that it is, it told me to “try again later”. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see if the rumors of an Easy Bake Oven movie are true.

Be sure to tell us what you think in the comments section, even if actually think it’s a good idea.

  • Steevoger

    Even that cant top in my eyes the planned remake of “Commando” by Fox

  • mrkiki

    I could see a movie in it. “The Cult of 8-Ball”. People give over their decision making to the magic 8-ball, a la “Yes Man” style, and basically get what they deserve for being so stupid. Could work.

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  • Asscomander

    I think the author is straight ass fucked gay! Truly unsatisfied by the answer of the eight ball which often tells the truth.

    Shithead if you cant handle it don’t use it.

  • Kickinitoldfool

    I actually thing this movie premise could work, the 8 ball was a huge retro type toy that will bring people back to there child hood and could relate. I think your off base TBH