Hello hello everyone! Welcome back to another edition of the Weekly Trailer Round-Up! I know, I missed last week. I had a few computer problems that put me out of commission for a few days. However, I tried to included everything of interest that I missed. Enjoy, kids!
THE SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES
Director: Mark Waters
Starring: Freddie Highmore, Mary-Louise Parker, Nick Nolte
Trailer: Click Here
Summary: Peculiar things start to happen the moment the Grace family leave New York and move into the secluded old house owned by their great, great uncle Arthur Spiderwick. Unable to explain the strange disappearances and accidents that seem to be happening on a daily basis, the family blames Jared. When he, Simon, and Mallory investigate what’s really going on, they uncover the fantastic truth of the Spiderwick estate and of the creatures that inhabit it.
Prognosis: Looks like your run of the mill kids movie. I’ve never read the books, so I’ve never had any exposure to the series. However, it does look like this could be a new Lord of The Rings for kids. I’m not entirely sure that this would be my cup of tea, but it looks like it could be a hit for the kids. The trailer makes it look all cutesy. I’ll give it a B- because its aimed toward kids.
RAMBO
Director: Sylvester Stallone
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Julie Benz, Matthew Marsden
Trailer: Click Here
Summary: Twenty years after the last film in the series, John has retreated to northern Thailand, where he’s running a longboat on the Salween River. Rambo, who lives a solitary, simple life in the mountains, and has long given up fighting.
That all changes when a group of human rights missionaries search out the “American river guide” John Rambo. They ask Rambo to guide them up the Salween and drop them off, so they can deliver medical supplies and food to the Karen tribe.
Less than two weeks later, pastor Arthur Marsh finds Rambo and tells him the aid workers did not return. Although the United States military trained him to be a lethal super soldier in Vietnam, decades later Rambo’s reluctance for violence and conflict are palpable, his scars faded, yet visible. However, the lone warrior knows what he must do…
Prognosis: I’m not going to lie…I’ve never been a huge fan of the Rambo series. However, this ad intrigued me quite a bit. From the synopsis, it seems like a fairly convoluted story, but who knows how it’ll turn out. This is not really a new trailer, per say, but it’s a TV spot. For something to be shown on TV, it looks fairly violent. Most be one of those ones shown after 10 PM on Spike TV. I’ll probably check it out. B.
FOOL’S GOLD
Director: Andy Tennant
Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Kate Hudson, Ray Winstone
Trailer: Click Here
Summary: McConaughey and Hudson play married treasure hunters whose eight-year search for booty leaves them broke and out of gas. Just as they divorce, they stumble upon a missing clue that might lead them to a fortune. Hilarity ensues.
Prognosis: From the poster and synopsis alone, I already hated this movie. It just looked like another one of those “Let’s put two hot people in a movie together, and make money!” However, I was slightly won over, as the trailer did make me laugh a few times. I don’t know, call me a consumer whore. But no where near as terrible as I thought. C is what it gets.
COLLEGE ROAD TRIP
Director: Roger Kumble
Starring: Raven-Symone, Martin Lawerence, Donny Osmond
Trailer: Click Here
Summary: Melanie is eagerly looking forward to her first big step towards independence when she plans a “girls only” road trip to check out prospective universities. But when her overbearing police chief father insists on escorting her instead, she soon finds her dream trip has turned into a hilarious nightmare adventure full of comical misfortune and turmoil.
Prognosis: No…just…no. I won’t even bring myself to write anything about this. I don’t think I can give it anything less than an F. No, fuck that, I can. It gets a Z.
CLOVERFIELD
Director: Matt Reeves
Starring: Michael Stahl-David, Mike Vogel, Odette Yustman
Trailer: Click Here
Summary: Five young New Yorkers throw their friend a going-away party the night that a monster the size of a skyscraper descends upon the city. Told from the point of view of their video camera, the film is a document of their attempt to survive the most surreal, horrifying event of their lives.
Prognosis: I was sold on this movie when the first teaser poster and trailer hit over the summer. I saw Beowulf last weekend, and this new trailer was attached to it. Holy. Crap. That’s all I have to say. This movie is going to give people bad cases of motion sickness, but I don’t care. I can’t wait to see it. A is what it gets. Fuck, JJ Abrams could have come on the screen and just said “Hey. Come see this movie!” and I would still give it an A.
MADE OF HONOR
Director: Paul Weiland
Starring: Patrick Dempsey, Michelle Monaghan
Trailer: Click Here
Summary: A male-driven romantic comedy about a guy whose dream girl asks him to be her maid of honor. He agrees in an attempt to win her heart.
Prognosis: Ok, I’m sorry guys. I love Grey’s Anatomy. I’m sorry, I do. It’s addicting. I’m way behind on it, but I love it. The fact that Patrick Dempsey is in this movie makes me want to see it right off the bat. Even after watching the trailer, I still wanted to see this movie. It’s a male version of My Best Friend’s Wedding. But it’s got McDreamy. B+, mofos.
TEETH
Director: Mitchell Lichtenstein
Starring: Jess Weixler, John Hensley
Trailer: Click Here
Summary: High school student Dawn works hard at suppressing her budding sexuality by being the local chastity group’s most active participant. Her task is made even more difficult by her bad boy stepbrother Brad’s increasingly provocative behavior at home. A stranger to her own body, innocent Dawn discovers she has a toothed vagina when she becomes the object of violence. As she struggles to comprehend her anatomical uniqueness, Dawn experiences both the pitfalls and the power of being a living example of the vagina dentata myth.
Prognosis: I’ve been hearing a lot of buzz on this movie for a few months. It played a few festivals, and got rave reviews. The trailer doesn’t really allude to what the film is actually about. Which is a vagina. With teeth. That bites. The trailer doesn’t make me all that interested in the film, but the reviews I read still make me want to check it out. B- is the final score.
DEFINITELY, MAYBE
Director: Adam Brooks
Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Abigail Breslin, Isla Risher
Trailer: Click Here
Summary: Will Hayes, a 30-something Manhattan dad in the midst of a divorce, wonders about his past when his 10 year-old daughter, Maya, starts to question him about his life before marriage. Will hopelessly attempts a “PG” version of his story for his daughter and changes the names so Maya has to guess who is the woman her father finally married. Is her mother Will’s college sweetheart, the dependable girl next-door Emily? Is she his longtime best friend and confidante, the apolitical April? Or is she the free-spirited but ambitious journalist Summer?
Prognosis: The fact that Abigail Breslin is in this movie is sure to make a lot of people want to see it. Again, another one of those ‘love stories’ that comes out on Valentine’s Day that girls will drag their boyfriends to see. Eh. I’m undecided. Ask me again in a few months. B-
