About 4 of the 117 minutes that make up The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 will capture your attention.  Those 4 minutes are nearly ruined, too, when someone opens their mouth; which ends up being a frequent, and indirectly funny, occurrence.

The story is quite simple in this installment: Vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson) and human Bella (Kristen Stewart) are finally getting hitched.  Everyone is happy about this.  Even the werewolf, Jacob (Taylor Lautner) seems to be cool with it, despite his eternal hard-on for Bella.  That is until he learns Bella wants Edward to try to impregnate her prior to changing her to a full-blown vamp (apparently that’s not good).  So Jacob then continues his pouting and the on-going supernatural cock fight for the average & boring looking girl rages on.

While on the honeymoon at a secluded island off the shores of Brazil, Edward reluctantly honors Bella’s wishes to try to give her a child.  He worries though (seems that’s all he does in these damn flicks) that the “fetus” may be something no one has ever seen or dealt with before, therefore, harming Bella.  Well, the virile vamp pulls it off which leads to Bella having dire complications; sparking a possible breach of the treaty between the Cullen clan and the Werewolves.

Sorry Twi-hards, this installment sets the franchise way back and now deserves the clichéd ribbing many people do when talking about this product.  This is easily the worst film in the now four picture franchise.  Improvements were being made with each sequel.  New Moon proved that this adapted story from Stephenie Meyer’s popular novels could in fact be cinematical.  And Eclipse’s totality as a feature length film changed a lot of hater’s minds including yours truly.  The direction that Breaking Dawn took, well, took all the life out of the series.  Sure the loyal will eat this crap up, but chances are they are force feeding themselves (i.e. willing their mind & heart to like it).

The screenplay is handled like a romantic-comedy without any rhyme or reason.  Serving shallow dialogue all around and having the characters mock themselves just isn’t working here.  And the choice of a soundtrack is way out of place, for the tone of what this should have been (dramatic) is confused as the director and performers.  Based on the material given here, Pattinson and Stewart are sadly unable to carry this movie as they are asked to do.  Taylor Lautner enters and tries to anchor this down, but the most intriguing character is also hampered with more terrible dialogue and piss-poor timing.  No one has evolved and that’s kind of the point of a progressing story.  And there is no help from the supporting cast as they are given nothing to do except act – which in this case translates to stand and look concerned – as a warm (and cold) body count (I’m Team Jasper by the way).

So that 4 minutes mentioned above happens in the last 15 minutes, involving a brief werewolf and vampire clash outside the Cullen house.  Right before that sequence, there’s a decent dramatic pitch with Bella going into labor.  As stated before though, just when they’re on the path to passable filmmaking, someone opens their mouth and the direction goes to hell.  The only thing that could have improved this piece is having Beavis and Butt-Head sitting on a couch providing sarcastic commentary (you’re welcome Mike Judge).

One thing that is noteworthy is this particular flick tackles and depicts some mature situations.  There’s an awful amount of time dedicated toward the Edward & Bella honeymoon – a.k.a. vamp baby-making.  Let’s just say they are suggestive scenes that mainly see Kristen Stewart prancing around in quasi-sexy lingerie and tastefully having sex with Mopey the vampire.  So perhaps a chat with your teenage daughter may be warranted after this.  That is, if this installment doesn’t completely turn them off.

If one can overlook the bad acting and lazy story, what this product really needed was a solid edit.  I’m all for a movie taking its time but lingering on superficial scenes that fail to dial up any emotion and/or have a purpose is literally laughable.  By doing so, this direction plays – and projects – something resembling the spoof nature of Vampire Sucks rather than what one saw in the previous two Twilight sequels.

Overall, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 is dead on arrival.  In sequel terms, this represents a B-movie horror flick that continues to spawn more installments that debut on the SyFy channel.  And that’s never a good thing, kids.  Everyone has gone backwards here, losing the momentum that Eclipse fought hard to attain.

And if you’re still into this – which is to say you enjoy subpar filmmaking and stories – be sure to stay after the credits for a teaser.

RATING:  1 out of 5 

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This time next week The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 will be making a killing at the box office, but will Oscar winning writer Bill Condon (Dreamgirls, Gods and Monsters) be able to deliver the franchise with its first critical hit as director?

Here’s a summary of the first batch of reviews and reactions:

According to Movie Exclusive with Part 1 series screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg “makes the split right where it belongs” and Bill Condon “has taken the ‘Twilight’ franchise in a new and exciting direction” which is “easily the most emotionally satisfying of any of the films so far” and leaves “you with bated breath for the concluding film due one year later.” That’s where the glowing praise ends, though.

Screen Daily says Melissa Rosenberg “does a decent job of distilling some of the main conflicts from the 750-page novel” but thinks director Bill Condon is a “subpar director of spatial action”, citing a fight between the wolves and the Cullen clan that ends up being “a jumbled mess with a shrugging emotional impact.”

The Hollywood Reporter thinks splitting Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows into two films was justified given the “massive amount of narrative”, but thinks Breaking Dawn – Part 1 could have been covered in 40 minutes instead of two hours. The reviewer says the movie “feels both bloated and as anemic as Bella herself becomes while enduring her pregnancy.”

Variety says the movie is a “downgrade” from Eclipse action-wise and “two nocturnal wolves-vs.-vamps combat scenes are essentially thrill-free, and so underlit that one is inclined to suspect slapdash CGI”. Bill Condon “takes the reins capably enough” but “his approach suffers from a certain stylistic anonymity that seems endemic to the material.” The review suggests Breaking Dawn would have “benefited from a dash of Cronenbergian body-horror” and “a willingness to push past a PG-13 rating”, but that obviously wasn’t going to happen.

W.L. Swarts describes the acting of the three leads as “honed” but they deliver nothing new as “we’ve seen Kristen Stewart shake and look pained, we’ve seen Robert Pattinson look confused and we’ve seen Taylor Lautner look upset and strong.” The character of Bella also lacks development as she does “not become more sophisticated, more intuitive or more interesting, she is just pregnant.” Despite this Michael Sheen “resurfaces to remind viewers what a dramatic powerhouse he can be” as Volturi leader Aro and there is praise for the soundtrack which “is an actual special effect that helps tell the story”.

Plenty more reviews will be surfacing over the upcoming week, but it looks like it’ll get the same response as the previous films. The fans will love it and it’ll make millions, but critics and regular movie-goers will be left wondering what the hype is all about.

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Following the 15 second preview we saw last week, Summit Entertainment has released the full second trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1. We see more of the Bella/Edward wedding and the subsequent honeymoon, but the main focus of the trailer is on the half-vampire, half-human child that’s growing inside Bella’s womb.

Watch below:

Here’s the official synopsis:

In the highly anticipated next chapter of the blockbuster The Twilight Saga, the newfound married bliss of Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) is cut short when a series of betrayals and misfortunes threatens to destroy their world.

After their wedding, Bella and Edward travel to Rio de Janeiro for their honeymoon, where they finally give in to their passions. Bella soon discovers she is pregnant, and during a nearly fatal childbirth, Edward finally fulfills her wish to become immortal.

But the arrival of their remarkable daughter, Renesmee, sets in motion a perilous chain of events that pits the Cullens and their allies against the Volturi, the fearsome council of vampire leaders, setting the stage for an all-out battle.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 is directed by Bill Condon (Dreamgirls) and opens November 18th, 2011.

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Update: Amazon has made Water for Elephants available to pre-order on: DVD | Blu-ray

20th Century Fox has announced the Water for Elephants DVD and Blu-ray release date for November 1, 2011.

The movie, directed by Francis Lawrence, opened back in April to mixed/positive reviews, and it showed Robert Pattinson could bring some of his Twilight fans with him even if he doesn’t sparkle. Water for Elephants made $115 million worldwide which, on a budget of just $40 million, is a decent result.

Here are the specifications:

Blu-ray

• · Feature Film
• · Special Features
  • - Robert Pattinson Spotlight
  • - Feature Performer Reese Witherspoon
  • - The Traveling Show: From Page to Screen
  • - Working Without A Net – The Visual Effects of Water for Elephants
  • - The Star Attraction
  • - Raising the Tent
  • - Secrets of the Big Top
  • - Audio Commentary with Director Francis Lawrence and Writer Richard LaGravenese
  • - Theatrical Trailer
  • · Live Extras
    • - Exclusive: Stars of the Circus
    • - Bluoray Highlight: The Traveling Show: From Page to Screen
    • - Theatrical Trailer
    • - Live Lookup
    • - Digital Copy

DVD

• · Feature Film
• · Special Features- Robert Pattinson Spotlight
  • - Feature Performer Reese Witherspoon
  • - The Traveling Show: From Page to Screen
  • - Audio Commentary with Director Francis Lawrence and Writer Richard LaGravenese
  • - Theatrical Trailer

Based on the acclaimed bestseller, Water for Elephants presents an unexpected romance in a uniquely compelling setting. Veterinary school student Jacob meets and falls in love with Marlena, a star performer in a circus of a bygone era. They discover beauty amidst the world of the Big Top, and come together through their compassion for a special elephant. Against all odds — including the wrath of Marlena’s charismatic but dangerous husband, August — Jacob and Marlena find lifelong love.

Update: Amazon has made Water for Elephants available to pre-order on: DVD | Blu-ray

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Summit Entertainment have released the first official teaser trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1, and they’ve somehow made a wedding appear epic. Well, they’ve tried to anyway.

From the trailer Breaking Dawn looks similar to the previous films, but that was expected. Taylor Lautner takes his shirt off and Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are still madly in love, but what’s different this time is that over the course of the trailer Bella Swan ends up with not one, but two vampires inside of her.

Watch below:

Here’s the official synopsis:

In the highly anticipated next chapter of the blockbuster The Twilight Saga, the newfound married bliss of Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) is cut short when a series of betrayals and misfortunes threatens to destroy their world.

After their wedding, Bella and Edward travel to Rio de Janeiro for their honeymoon, where they finally give in to their passions. Bella soon discovers she is pregnant, and during a nearly fatal childbirth, Edward finally fulfills her wish to become immortal.

But the arrival of their remarkable daughter, Renesmee, sets in motion a perilous chain of events that pits the Cullens and their allies against the Volturi, the fearsome council of vampire leaders, setting the stage for an all-out battle.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 is directed by Bill Condon (Dreamgirls) and opens November 18th, 2011.

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Although Water for Elephants is based off the book bearing the same title, it really should have been titled Cheap-Ass Whiskey for Elephants. Simply because the 4 ton supporting actress slams at least 8 bottles of grandpa’s old cough syrup during the 122 minute presentation, and we’re not talking about Jersey Shores’ Snooki.

So this feature marks Robert Pattinson’s second major appearance outside of the Twilight series that put him on the radar. The jury is still out on whether this guy has the chops to forge a career as a leading man. Knowing this, director Francis Lawrence (Constantine, I Am Legend) wisely casts an outstanding veteran to help guide our young lead through this abbreviated drama.

Jacob (Robert Pattinson) is about to take his final exam at Cornell University. Once he aces it, he already has his life mapped out. The girl is selected; the career – veterinarian – is awaiting him, and he’s ready to make the most of life while America has fallen into a time period we know as the Great Depression. Jacob is literally just hours away from achieving all these aspirations when tragedy strikes his parents. Left with zilch, he begins walking aimlessly down the railroad tracks around New York state. While sulking, he sees a train go by and decides to stop the tireless walking and sneak aboard. Plan works out fine until he meets the patrons of the locomotive.

He crosses path with the Benzini Brothers traveling circus show. Led by August (Christoph Waltz), Jacob strikes a deal that impresses the shrewd overlord, and he finds himself being taken under his wing. While attending to his duties as the first ever circus vet, he notices the show’s star attraction in Marlena (Reese Witherspoon). It’s no secret he takes a liking to the starlet, but she just happens to be married to August. And Jacob begins to learn from his fellow workers that the boss can be gracious and equally ruthless. When August decides to introduce an elephant as the production’s new centerpiece, Jacob forms a bond with the gentle giant. From there, the show begins to take off and the entire company has a good vibe flowing. Meanwhile, Jacob begins to question August’s actions toward Marlena and the elephant,  which then has August keeping a watchful eye on his young prodigy.

Unfortunately, this story is as predictable as a Rafael Nadal tennis match on clay. Everyone in the room knows that Jacob and Marlena are going to have a moment. They also know that August is suspicious and could possibly turn on his new favorite employee. These angles are revealed in this review because this novel was published in 2006. Knowing that, one would have hoped that author Sara Gruen would deviate from a pattern seen in so many dramas, that tackle the coming-of-age/mentor takes a guy under his wing storyline. It’s just too obvious.

With that said, the performance of Waltz is the attraction that will keep the viewer interested. The guy can transition as well as anyone in the business when factoring in a wide-range of emotions. And he does it numerous times in the same scene to boot. Coming in second in the top performance category is the elephant. This isn’t to completely knock Pattinson’s or Witherspoon’s performance here, but the elephant had more charisma than both of them. Some of that might have to do with the scripting, but the only time this flick tugs on the heart strings is when the elephant plot point is in the forefront.

Now even though this review may lead you to suspect that yours truly wasn’t entirely enamored with this tale, that is not the case. Despite the predictability, the depicted behind-the-scenes circus lifestyle during that time period was fairly interesting. And the brief Narnia-esque battle at the tail end of the climax was well done. In fact, all the cinematography will rope the viewer right into each sequence. Whether it’s the tight-quartered living conditions of the train, or the roaming around on grounds of the big top, the environment is detailed and enjoyable to explore. And you will receive a decent dose of unique characters to help fill in the “pages” so to speak.

Overall, Water for Elephants as a film, will urge one to give the novel a read. You can feel how this could be a page-turner even though the material doesn’t fully translate well to the screen. However, the style and delivery fits well with the time period on display, leading the atmosphere and tone of the performers to keep the audience engaged all the way through.

RATING 4 out of 5

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The live-action adaptation of anime graphic novel Akira is moving forward, and following a rewrite from Harry Potter screenwriter Steve Kloves Warner Bros. has complied a short-list of actors for the two leading roles. Unsurprisingly, none of them are Japanese actors, which has causes a bit of controversy amongst fans.

Here’s the run-down, from Deadline:

I’m told that for Tetsuo, Robert Pattinson, Andrew Garfield and James McAvoy have been given the new script.

For the role of Kaneda, the script has been given to Garrett Hedlund, Michael Fassbender, Chris Pine, Justin Timberlake and Joaquin Phoenix. The two leads are expected to come from that group of actors.

All the names mentioned are fairly young up-and-comers (plus Joaquin Phoenix?). With an August shoot planned it shouldn’t be long before both Tetsuo and Kaneda are cast, however as James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender are already paired up on X-Men: First Class it’s unlikely we’ll get both of them.

As well as hiring non-Japanese actors for the leads Warner Bros. has also moved the location to the US, with the story now taking place in “a rebuilt New Manhattan where a leader of a biker gang saves his friend from a medical experiment”. I can understand why the studio has ‘Americanized’ it ($$$), but I can also understand why fans of the graphic novel will be annoyed.

The whole theory behind adapting well known properties is to attract the built-in audience (and not to piss them off in the process), but it seems Warner Bros. has just bought the concept and aim to sell it as big-budget movie with big effects to the masses. Anyone remember The Last Airbender?

Albert Hughes, one half of The Hughes Brothers who were responsible for The Book of Eli, is directing.

Any Akira fans have an opinion on this short list of actors?

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20th Century Fox has released the first trailer for Water for Elephants, which comes from I Am Legend director Francis Lawrence and stars Robert Pattinson, Reese Witherspoon, Christoph Waltz and Hal Holbrook.

While 20th Century Fox has obviously hired Pattinson with the hope of him attracting the Twilight fanbase the movie looks quite impressive, visually. We also see an elephant performing a hand stand, which is probably the best part.

Watch below:

Based on the acclaimed bestseller, WATER FOR ELEPHANTS presents an unexpected romance in a uniquely compelling setting. Veterinary school student Jacob meets and falls in love with Marlena, a star performer in a circus of a bygone era. They discover beauty amidst the world of the Big Top, and come together through their compassion for a special elephant. Against all odds — including the wrath of Marlena’s charismatic but dangerous husband, August — Jacob and Marlena find lifelong love.

Water for Elephants will be released April 15th, 2011.

Read similar posts to Water for Elephants trailer at Filmonic

This is genius. Daniel Radcliffe, next seen in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, will be making a guest appearance in an upcoming episode of The Simpsons but he will not be playing himself nor Harry Potter. Instead, Radcliffe will be voicing Edmund the vampire, a clear spoof of Twilight and Robert Pattinson’s character Edward Cullen.

Spoiler TV got the first image of the character, which you can see above.

The episode, titled Treehouse of Horror XXI will air on Fox in the US on November 7th. Here’s the synopsis for the episode:

Beware of ouija boards, vampires, and unexpected guests in the 21st annual installment of the “Treehouse of Horror.” In “War and Pieces,” the first of three spine-tingling tales, Marge (Julie Kavner), worried about the effects of excessively violent video games, encourages Bart (Nancy Cartwright) and Milhouse (Pamela Hayden) to give wholesome, classic board games a shot. The best friends discover that board games aren’t boring after all when they find themselves playing a real-life game in which they must beat all the challenges before they are allowed to return to home.

The supernatural spells continue in “Tweenlight,” when Lisa (Yeardley Smith) becomes smitten with a mysterious new student, Edmund (guest voice Daniel Radcliffe), who also happens to be a vampire. When a romance blossoms, the young lovers run away to Dracula-la Land, leaving Homer (Dan Castellaneta) to come to Lisa’s rescue.

In the final frightening fable, “Master and Cadaver,” Homer and Marge set sail on a romantic second honeymoon, but are interrupted when they rescue Roger (guest voice Hugh Laurie), a castaway who escaped an attempted poisoning on his ship. Convinced that Roger is sabotaging their getaway and plotting a murder of his own, Homer and Marge take matters into their own hands.

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Summit Entertainment has set The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 release date for November 16th 2012, which means fans have to wait a whole year for the final film as Part I will be released November 18th 2011. Not even the Harry Potter fans have to wait that long for their conclusion.

Bill Condon will direct both films simultaneously Deathly Hallows-style, and both will star Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. Billy Burke, Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Jackson Rathbone, Nikki Reed, Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz will also be reprising their roles.

Melissa Rosenberg, who has written the scripts for all the films, has been working on the screenplay over the past few months ready for filming later this year.

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