Everyone in Hollywood loves a cash cow, that certain something that you always know will be there to save your bottom when nothing else works. Unfortunately for Hollywood cash cows are not easy to create and for every Lord of the Rings there’s a Golden Compass. Here we’ll take a look at 5 movies that really wanted but never could turn into future franchises.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, $200 million budget and $337 million worldwide made at the box office. This had all the makings of the next Pirates of the Caribbean, Jerry Bruckheimer, talented cast, good director, Disney and lots and lots of money thrown at it. The upsides is that it was based on a video game, but ultimately the finish product was so far from the source material that said upside becomes almost mute. So what really happened? Well first there were the various script rewrites (even during filming), then there was Disney overestimating the potential franchise value of this series and overspending on things that could have been done at half the price. Finally, while a good director, Mike Newell was just not the man for the job.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, $150 million budget and $215 million worldwide made at the box office. Yet another Jerry Bruckheimer movie failing at living up to expectations. With National Treasure‘s John Turtletaub directing and Nicholas Cage starring, many saw this doomed from the start but Disney certainly had other plans for this when they invested $150 million in it.

Robin Hood, $200 million budget and $321 million worldwide made at the box office. Ridley Scott directing and Russell Crowe starring, what could possibly go wrong, after all this is team Gladiator we are talking about. Well it did and while at first this might seem like a standalone picture, it was actually planned as a trilogy by Ridley Scott. I guess another overestimation of the franchise potential of an old hero like Mr. Hood, not to mention he has been done to death (just take a look here). Oh but wait, the Wachowskis are working on yet another adaption of Robin Hood, simply titled Hood.

The Last Airbender, $150 million budget and $319 million worldwide made at the box office. While this technically doubled its budget (sometimes considered the point where a movie breaks even), it was so bad and left such a bad taste in just about everyone’s mouth that none would touch a second movie, at least not as long as M. Night Shyamalan is behind it, not to mention it would probably make half as much money if they made it, now that people know what to expect.

The A-Team, $110 million budget and $177 million worldwide made at the box office. What the hell happened here? Did Fox overestimate the popularity of the show or do people just not give a damn about it anymore? Either way The A-Team was a failed attempt at bringing back an old (and most would say DEAD) series. On the other hand The Green Hornet (much older, deader and a lot higher on the “don’t give a damn” scale) seems to be doing just fine, so maybe it was just the damn movie sucking.

This year we have another batch of potential future cash cows that could fail just as bad if not worse then the titles above. So with that being said, I’m looking forward to lots and lots of failed franchise starts, Hollywood oh Hollywood, you have to love the way they just don’t stop believing.

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Seeing as it’s a pretty slow news week in film, I decided to subject you to one of the many lists I like to make at the end of the year. Putting together a ‘top list’ in any genre is no easy task, but putting together a list of this year’s Most Abominable Movies has proven to be downright blackboard-chalk-screeching painful.

Here’s my problem: I try not to knowingly subject myself to sucky movies. I’m not really the type who goes out and sees every movie with no idea that the thing is going to suck the big one. No, like any reasonably intelligent person who doesn’t live under a rock, I can usually tell if something is going to please me greatly (or even a little). So yeah, I’m a film snob. And no, I don’t think it’s cool to purposely sour my taste buds by offering up the latest Katherine Heigl or Tyler Perry crap-fest.

So, admittedly I had a little trouble choosing my biggest piles of film poo. Unfortunately, I could only muster up a total of 5 films worthy of shoving that $10 ticket up my derriere. Here they are–in all their glory (and in no particular order). And please, feel free to point out how obviously off base I am. But be prepared to support your argument with evidence!

1. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Despite the obvious problems with this film (Jerry Bruckheimer), I think my biggest peeve was the fact that poor Jake had to LEARN how to speak in a British accent to match the rest of the cast. He-LLO! This is freaking Persia. It’s Iran–not the freaking Union Jack! And seriously–Jake is just too pretty for Prince Dastan. Who’s going to mess with a face like that?

2. The Last Airbender
Oh boy. Glee glee glee at how craptacular this most recent Shyamalan disaster turned out. I must channel my inner Roger Ebert here and repeat: “The Last Airbender is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented. The laws of chance suggest that something should have gone right. Not here. It puts a nail in the coffin of low-rent 3D, but it will need a lot more coffins than that.”

Yes. Coffins indeed. Noah Ringer as Aang and his two comrades wander aimlessly through the murky and bland set, speak their lines with all the commitment and fervor of an empty wooden box, and battle CGI monsters with all the bravery of white belt karate students with ballet training. And here’s a note to Asian-American actors upset that the film used Caucasians to represent: Please, be thankful you didn’t get to participate. Missing an opportunity like this is akin to missing that famed Oceanic flight 815.

3. Dinner for Schmucks
I’m fully prepared to take a lot of grief for this one. First of all, I know you’re asking, “how can a movie where Steve Carrell makes tiny dioramas out of dead mice and Paul Rudd gets to be the straight man be awful?” And second of all, I am in no way an Armond White supporter. But really, the guy sums Schmucks up wholeheartedly for me: “Actors are paid to be embarrassing, and audiences pay to get embarrassed. That’s the lesson to learn from Dinner for Schmucks, an idiot-comedy for idiots.”

4. Grown Ups
I didn’t laugh once during this entire film. No, I don’t think it’s funny that Sandler is fully aware of the fact that he’s stealing my $10 so I can watch him and his buddies pee in a pool, fart and hump things. I think movie humor sort of requires that the comedians in said movie not snicker openly at the jokes of fellow comedians in said movie as if to cue me for laughter. It also helps not to pigeon-hole each “actor” with one funny running attribute throughout the entire length of the film. Is Kevin James chubby enough to be made the butt of an endless supply of fat jokes? Yes.

I was, however, held down and forced to watch this film twice over the holiday season with the soul mate’s nephew and nieces (ages 12, 8, and 7). These three found the movie quite  hilarious and couldn’t get enough of it. So, that said, raunchy comedians making a kids film = FAIL.

5. Clash of the Titans
I saw this cluster-f*&k in 3D (first bad choice), and my dreams of Release the Kraken glory turned into Release the Craptastic disappointment. This film was one of those classic examples of hurriedly tacking on post-prod 3D in order to greedily take advantage of the current 3D-mania in theatres. Distracting and annoying instead of enhancing the story, this mess had all the key ingredients of a really bad film: sloppy and stilted dialogue, over-the-top acting, bad editing. I should have just listened to my gut and let Harry Hamlin live in infamy. Yes, this regret will haunt me forever. And, the homage to Bubo the owl was really kind of lame and seemed like it was just thrown in there haphazardly.

Do you have 5 more Most Abominable films you’ve seen this year I could add to my list?

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The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences today released their short list of 15 films currently in contention for Best Achievement in Visual Effects for the 83rd Academy Awards. As usual, the list is a mix of critical darlings, box office failures, comic book movies, sequels and originals.

Here are the 15 films in alphabetical order:

• Alice in Wonderland
• The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
• Clash of the Titans
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1
• Hereafter
• Inception
• Iron Man 2
• The Last Airbender
• Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
• Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
• Scott Pilgrim vs the World
• Shutter Island
• The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
• TRON: Legacy
• Unstoppable

Members of the Academy’s Visual Effects Branch Executive Committee will narrow the list down to seven in early January, prior to the announcement of the Oscar nominations on Tuesday, January 25, 2011.

Which select few do you think will make it through to the final 3? Last year it was a battle between Avatar, Star Trek and District 9, with Avatar obviously taking the gold.

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Update: Amazon has made Prince of Persia available to pre-order:

- DVD
- Blu-ray

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time made over $320 million worldwide when it was released in May, although as only $90 million of that was from the US a sequel is unlikely.

Disney today announced that Prince of Persia will be arriving on DVD and Blu-ray on September 14th, with a rather limited set of extras.

• An Unseen World: Making Prince of Persia – A look behind the scenes on the set of the film
• 1-Disc BD Exclusive: Deleted Scene – The Banquet: Garsiv Presents Heads
• 3-Disc BD Exclusive: CineExplore: The Sands of Time – Take control of the dagger and use it to unlock secrets behind your favorite scenes! Turn back time and uncover over 40 spellbinding segments – including “Walking Up Walls,” “Filming in Morocco”, and “Ostrich Jockey Tryouts” – with this exclusive interactive feature. Blu-ray puts you in control!

I imagine they will be releasing a special edition later down the line to recuperate some of their loss.

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While doing press for Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Jake Gyllenhaal, Ben Kingsley and Gemma Arterton were interviewed by a guy who, instead of asking them the usual predictable questions, challenged them on how “Gyllenhaal” is actually pronounced. It turns out we’ve been saying it wrong for years!

“Yillenhulahay” is quite a mouth full, so I think it’s best if we just refer to Jake and Maggie with the usual “Gyllenhaal”.

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UGO received the final poster for Prince of Perisa: The Sands of Time which features Jake Gyllenhaal as Dastan, Gemma Arterton as Tamina, and Ben Kingsley as Nizam. I’m sure the marketing guys at Disney could have come up with something a bit more creative, but it does it’s job.

Set in medieval Persia, the story of an adventurous prince who teams up with a rival princess to stop an angry ruler from unleashing a sandstorm that could destroy the world. Which is why after the prince was tricked by a dying Vizier to unleash the Sands of Time that turns out to destroy a kingdom and transforms its populace into ferocious demons. In his effort to save his own kingdom and redeem his fatal mistake, it’s up to the prince and the princess to return the sands to the hourglass by using the Dagger of Time, which also gives him a limited control over the flow of time.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time will be released on May 28th.

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Disney has released a second trailer for Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. The first trailer has been keeping me entertained for the past few months, so it’s good to have another epic trailer to stick on repeat. This new one explains more of the story and showcases a bunch of special effects heavy scenes, which are probably completed by now seeing as though the film was originally going to be released last summer.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time stars Jake Gyllenhaal, Ben Kingsley, Gemma Arterton, Alfred Molina and will be released on May 28th.

You can check out Filmonic’s Prince of Persia gallery here!

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“It is, by definition, epic” – Sir Ben Kinglsey, this new featurette

IGN got their hands on another featurette for Disney’s Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. This one focuses on how ‘epic’ the film be and we see shots of the vast Moroccan landscape, scenes involving hundreds of extras, and a bunch of guys riding ostriches. While on the subject of mounting exotic creatures, did I mention Gemma Arterton is looking rather…hot?

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time will be released on May 28th.

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With the Super Bowl comes many movie TV spots and trailers, and Disney decided to spend a few million advertising Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. The TV spot doesn’t contain a lot of new footage, but it shows off the films special effects brilliantly, and that’s what people will no doubt be interested in. Watch below!

The film stars Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kingsley and will be released in May.

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Earlier this month we saw a featurette for Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time which focused on Dastan, played by Jake Gyllenhaal. Now Disney has released another featurette which focuses on the dagger, which has the power to turn back time. Again we see small snippets of interviews with director Mike Newell, Jerry Bruckheimer, Gyllenhaal, and Gemma Arterton, and we get a look at some new footage.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time will be released next May.

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