Taylor Kitsch isn’t exactly having a banner year. He’s the star of one of Disney’s all-time worst box office bombs, John Carter, and now he’s leading the troops in Universal’s Battleship, which is not only one of the worst blockbusters in recent memory, but also one of the most idiotic movies I’ve ever seen. It makes John Carter look like The Godfather. It’s not that the plot is stupid – we’ve seen alien invasion movies before, and some of them are actually good – but the filmmakers seem to be the only ones who don’t realize they’re making a movie out of a damned board game. This one was dead in the water before it even left port.

(Spoilers throughout this review.)

For the purposes of brevity, I won’t fully explore how ludicrous it is that a major movie studio spent upwards of $200 million dollars making an adaptation of a board game. And not only that, but inexplicably, while adapting a freaking board game into a screenplay, the writers failed to include the one line that is actually associated with this property: “you sunk my battleship!” It’s never uttered by anyone, and with Liam Neeson playing an admiral, I shouldn’t even have to point out how much that line writes itself. In fact, the absence of that line in Battleship is actually a good indicator of the film as a whole. There are two ways to go with a movie like this: embrace the craziness and make something that’s fun and over the top with a hint of self-awareness, or make everything as dramatic and serious as possible and sap all of the fun out of it. Guess which option these filmmakers chose?

Director Peter Berg is equivalent to broken pieces of a mirror pulled from a Michael Bay afterparty, scattering Transformers reflections across the screen with half the style and none of the character. (When I’m glorifying Sam Witwicky as an interesting character in comparison to the ones in this film, you know you’re in trouble.) Battleship is an ugly movie, and Berg is ultimately the one responsible. Excessively tight close-up shots of humans collide with spinning garish metal, and the result should be evidence to the Michael Bay haters out there that despite Bay’s public persona, he’s actually a craftsman when it comes to shooting action sequences. There’s no life to be found in Berg’s cheap imitations.

There was absolutely no point in this movie which I cared what happened to any of the main characters, especially Kitsch’s rebellious “hero” Alex Hopper. The entire film is supposed to be about how he learns to become a team player so he can impress his girlfriend’s dad, but he never earns anything he gets. When the aliens attack, Hopper’s brother and a ton of other soldiers are killed and he essentially inherits control of the ship. But the hotheaded young officer has to be literally grabbed by the collar and shaken by his subordinates in order to avoid leading everyone to their deaths. He’s unlikable, entitled, and entirely void of charisma. A good actor may have been able to skate by on charisma alone, but Kitsch was handicapped even further because of a terrible script. Maybe the movie has a hidden meaning that condemns the notion of failing upward, but that would require far too much thought for this project. It’s a good thing the film doesn’t show us how Kitsch works his way up to a lieutenant in the Navy*, because even the best writers couldn’t have convinced us of this character doing anything worth rewarding.

But the best writers were busy or too expensive, so Universal hired Jon and Erich Hoeber, the brothers who wrote the geriatric spy movie RED. These two must have been raised by effing Schwarzenegger or something, because they’ve got a hard-on for the concept of old people kicking ass; this is evidenced by Battleship’s stroke of batshit crazy, laugh-out-loud insanity: a climax involving 80-year-old veterans running a battleship while AC/DC blares in the background.

I honestly don’t know where to start when addressing parts of this film that don’t make any sense, so I might as well begin with the aliens. Their motivation is never made clear, and we get a tiny glimpse of their backstory during a mindmeld with Hopper that is never referenced in the story after it occurs. They have advanced technology, which includes a Terminator-esque visual display that identifies items as safe or hostile. These readouts also make no sense, because one minute the aliens are destroying random cars full of civilians on a highway, and the next they’re taking out military bases. I understand the whole “destroying the weapons” thing, because that could be some sort of The Day The Earth Stood Still anti-weapon message…but Battleship has no message, because it has no brain with which to present it.

As with a lot of mindless blockbusters, the physics here are questionable at best. Trust me, I’m fine with that when a movie has a sense of self-awareness or even a sense of amusement at what it’s doing, but Battleship’s overly serious tone only succeeds in making everything look ridiculous. At one point, the aliens unleash a high-pitched blast that sends literal shockwaves through the bridge of a ship hundreds of yards away, causing glass to break and the soldiers on that ship to fall to the ground screaming in pain. But a lifeboat carrying the film’s main soldiers is a mere twenty feet from the source of the noise, and while they grab their ears for a second, they soon appear never the worse for wear. Even a scene in which the communications are down and our heroes have to essentially play a game of Battleship on command screens from the bowels of a destroyer is boring and forgettable. I’d have loved all of these elements if they were executed well, but that would have required a completely different set of filmmakers altogether.

The supporting cast was useless and annoying (Rihanna chief among them), and even Neeson’s presence wasn’t enough to salvage anything decent from this waterlogged disaster. For the record, Battleship also has maybe the most unnecessary post-credits sequence in cinema history, but I wouldn’t recommend waiting through to see it for yourself. Though the movie was fighting an uphill battle from the start, it really didn’t have to be this bad. Toss in the “you sunk my battleship!” line, and the entire tone of the film could have changed. It’s amazing how much power a tiny phrase has, but unfortunately Berg and his crew weren’t interested in acknowledging the absurdity of a movie based on a board game. Thank God Universal cut ties with Hasbro and jumped ship on future board game adaptations. Until next time…

*For an excellent example of a time jump from hotshot young punk to soldier, see J.J. Abrams’ 2009 Star Trek.

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When it comes to action films, Liam Neeson has become almost a standard to the “bad-ass” archetype. Well it doesn’t seem like it’s losing steam anytime soon, as Variety confirms that Neeson is currently in talks to star in the new thriller appropriately named Non-Stop.

It’ll be yet another collaboration for him with Joel Silver’s Dark Castle Entertainment since last year’s thriller Unknown. strong>Non-Stop will center around Neeson as an air marshal confronted with a threat on an international flight, which on paper sounds like your standard escapist, albeit B-movie, fare, but of course what matters is how it’ll be executed.

While the personnel involved with the project doesn’t necessarily match those who are responsible for Neeson’s powerhouse thrillers, be it writer/director Joe Carnahan on The Grey or screenwriter/producer Luc Besson on Taken and, later this year, it’s sequel, but it still has the makings for a tense thriller/Neeson showcase that will surely bring in an audience.

Warner Brothers will be distributing the film based on a script written by John Richardson and Chris Roach, and Jeff Wadlow (Never Back Down, Cry_Wolf) is attached to direct.

No matter how the film turns out, you’ll still have a countless of other films to see Neeson do what he does best, including the currently playing Wrath of The Titans, this summer’s Battleship, and the aforementioned Taken sequel, among many others.

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Although it’s a brisk and flawed 99 minutes, most blockbuster-seeking audiences will feel fulfilled with Wrath of the Titans.

The sequel to the mediocre 2010 remake of the treasured Clash of the Titans, actually improves on just about every level. Epic action sequences showcasing the power of the gods to mythological creatures ruthlessly attacking mankind is choreographed seamlessly via top-notch CGI. And more importantly, the lens captures everything in a comfortable manner for the viewer to take in.

Now while the delivery, or articulation, of the story is barely passable, you’ll at least understand what is going on and why characters are doing what they do. But perhaps it is a bit too chatty in the first-half. It would have been nice, and definitely more emotional, if the filmmakers extended this by 15-20 minutes in order to project a more engaging storyline through the dialogue; because unless Liam Neeson (Zeus) and/or Ralph Fiennes (Hades) – who have extended roles in this installment – are talking, the dialogue streamed through a mumbling Sam Worthington (reprising the Perseus character) and out-of-place Rosamund Pike (Andromeda) comes across very “rough draft” like.

In addition to giving the god characters more things to do in this piece – mainly through a brooding Edgar Ramirez (the god of war, Ares) – this script does inject subtle amounts of comedy through another demi-god in Toby Kebbell (son of Poseidon). Kebbell brings a charming “Captain Jack Sparrow” like presence that although used sparingly, balances out the tone of this fantasy/action saga. Playing along nicely with those elements are the massive set pieces – mainly CGI – that provide that escapism feeling. In Clash of the Titans, the atmosphere seemed too cardboard and uniform. This time around, every encounter the small contingent of humans and/or demi-gods come face-to-face with, feels as if one is entering a new realm of sorts; and these said realms portray an attitude of something between The Chronicles of Narnia and Lord of the Rings trilogies.

Since this story follows both the human and gods’ perspective, multiple environments are explored and each viewpoint if you will includes a steady dose of unique action. But again, as stated, there is some crappy storytelling still taking place within the dialoge.

Without giving too much away, the gist of the plot is preventing the resurrection of the gods’ father/creator, Kronos. The monstrous Titan has been held captive by Zeus, Hades, and Poseidon. However, the world has stopped praying to the gods, and because of this act, they begin to lose their powers and can no longer keep their angry daddy – who is about the size of a mountain – contained. So it falls on Perseus, now a father himself, to rekindle his raging spirit to assist the gods in taking down a nemesis that will devour all the lands.

For all the fanboys, and girls, out there…this fantasy tale delivers the goods with regards to the climatic ending battle. Remember how a couple of the X-Men sequels kind of took away the focus of displaying the respective characters superpowers? Or how in Lord of the Rings, we all kind of wanted to see what would happen if Sauron actually came to life and battled it out with the fellowship? Well, this is your wet-dream scenario. It’s not perfect experience, but it is very generous one that should please you.

Overall, Wrath of the Titans trumps the remake of Clash of the Titans. Though the script fails to capture and project the richness of the storyline, the supporting players along with just enough eye-gasmic action sequences – which benefit from the scope of the 3D gimmick – answer your movie-going prayers for a sequel production that does not go all to hell.

RATING: 3.5 out of 5

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Peter Berg’s Battleship has been catching a lot of crap from people for looking too similar to Michael Bay’s Transformers films – but then, that’s exactly what the Hasbro (the company that brought us Transformers) wants us to think. Universal is doing everything they can to evoke that robot imagery in their own movie, and this new trailer certainly does more of that.

The action is on full display here, but there’s no meaningful look at any of the characters, so for me, a lot of the robotic gnashing just feels kind of empty. Watch the trailer after the jump, and give us your thoughts in the comments below!

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The official UK trailer for Wrath of the Titans has appeared online and, just like the title suggests, it’s full of mythological Greek monster and raging Titans. The action looks more intense compared to the first film, but whether the second outing is an improvement overall remains to be seen.

Watch the below:

A decade after defeating the Kraken, Perseus (Sam Worthington) cannot ignore his true calling when Hades (Ralph Fiennes), along with Zeus’ godly son, Ares (Edgar Ramírez), switch loyalty and make a deal with Kronos to capture Zeus (Liam Neeson). The Titans’ strength grows stronger as Zeus’ remaining godly powers are siphoned, and hell is unleashed on earth.

Enlisting the help of the warrior Queen Andromeda (Rosamund Pike), Poseidon’s demigod son, Argenor (Toby Kebbell), and fallen god Hephaestus (Bill Nighy), Perseus bravely embarks on a treacherous quest into the underworld to rescue Zeus, overthrow the Titans and save mankind.

Jonathan Liebesman (Battle: Los Angeles) directs, and the movie will be released March 30th.

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Christian Bale and Michael Fassbender have previously been linked to the lead role in Darren Aronofsky’s next project Noah, which will be a big screen adaptation of the Noah’s Ark story. Now Deadline reports that the Black Swan director wants Russell Crowe as his lead.

No deal has been reached, but apparently “signs are pointing that way”. The site also mentions Aronofsky is eyeing Liam Neeson for another role, but no further details are given. If Crowe ends up play Noah it’ll be another iconic role to add to his list, which already includes Maximus in Gladiator, Robin Hood, and Jor-El in Man of Steel which will be out next year.

Below is a French trailer for the graphic novel released last year which gives us an idea of what to expect:

Last year Aronofsky said:

“Since I was a kid, I have been moved and inspired by the story of Noah and his family’s journey. The imaginations of countless generations have sparked to this epic story of faith. It’s my hope that I can present a window into Noah’s passion and perseverance for the silver screen”.

Academy Award nominated screenwriter John Logan (Gladiator, The Aviator) is re-writing the script and the aim is to begin production this summer.

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William John Neeson was born June 7th, 1952 in Northern Ireland. In 1981 he made his debut in Excalibur with a very small part, and 12 years later he won the role of Oskar Schindler in Steven Spielberg’s Schindler’s List which put him firmly on the map.

He’s had important roles in many of his films but very rarely played the lead. That changed in 2009 with Taken, a movie that turned him from a mentor that often died (*SPOILERS* Batman Begins, Gangs of New York, Kingdom of Heaven, Star Wars) to a bonafide badass in subsequent films such Unknown, The A-Team, and now in The Grey and the upcoming Taken sequel, although he is going back to mentor mode in Battleship this year.

Today we take a look at Liam Neeson’s top 10 biggest box office hits in North America, unadjusted.

I’ll start with a bit of a disclaimer first, after a long debate between me and myself, I’ve decided to include the first film in the Chronicles of Narnia series where Liam Neeson voices the lion Aslan (even though Box Office Mojo won’t). The subsequent movies won’t be featured here because his part in them became much shorter.

10. Unknown (2011) $63.6 million – An engaging thriller about a man that loses his identity after a car accident. So what do you do when not even your wife recognizes you? Well, to find out you have to watch Unknown and trust me, it’s not a waste of time.

9. The A-Team (2010) $77.2 million – A fun action flick based on the popular 80′s hit TV series. It’s a bit light on brain cells but definitely makes up for that with great action set pieces. Don’t listen to the haters out there, give it a try, there’s nothing wrong with some brainless fun now and again.

8. Gangs of New York (2002) $77.8 million – Martin Scorsese’s epic about the gang wars in 19th century New York. Liam Neeson plays Leonardo DiCaprio’s dad in the film, a short yet pivotal part. I said it before, I’ll say it again, Gangs of New York is a must see.

7. The Haunting (1999) $91.4 million – I remember being so hyped for this back in 1999, although I can’t remember exactly why. Probably a combination of the previews and the general premise of the film. If The Grey is Liam Neeson against wolves, The Haunting was him against ghosts, with a twist thrown for good measure.

6. Schindler’s List (1993) $96 million – The story of a true superhero for over 1100 people and winner of 7 Oscars in 1994 including Best Picture and Best Director for Steven Spielberg. Liam Neeson had to settle for a nomination only. Schindler’s List is not an easy film to watch but if you can (and you should), it’s definitely worth every second of those 3 hours and 15 minutes.

5. Taken (2009) $145 million – One of the great action flicks of the last few years, for me at least, up there with the likes of Casino Royale and The Bourne Ultimatum. After grossing little over $80 million internationally over the course of 2008, the film finally opened in the US in January 2009. By that time it was already available on Blu-ray and DVD in many countries around the world yet Taken opened with $24.7 million during the Super Bowl Weekend and went on to gross $145 million, becoming one of the biggest surprise hits of that year. In October Fox will release a completely unnecessary sequel that I’ll probably end up watching opening night.

4. Clash of the Titans (2010) $163.2 million – Liam Neeson makes for a great Zeus here but everything else is just average at best. Suffice to say, in March I won’t be catching Wrath of the Titans on opening night.

3. Batman Begins (2005) $2005.3 million – How awesome was Liam Neeson here, right? Now this is obviously a fantastic movie, my favorite of the Nolan Batman flicks actually and having Liam Neeson return in The Dark Knight Rises makes me scream like a teenage girl at a Justin Bieber concert.

2. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005) $291.7 million – So Aslan being a metaphor for God here, there’s no surprise that Liam Neeson’s deep gravelly voice was a perfect fit. Based on C. S. Lewis’ famous children novel, the movie became a massive success for Disney but none of the sequels that followed managed to recreate the same magic or box office numbers. It’s a great family movie, a must have in any DVD or Blu-ray collection.

1. Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace (1999) $431 million – The film Star Wars fans love to hate. I was 12 when I saw this in theaters and at the time I can say that I enjoyed myself, it was a good time at the movies. Today I can see why some hate The Phantom Menace so much (Jar Jar, you devil you) but I personally still can’t join their ranks. I can’t help myself, it might not be a great movie but it’s certainly not a bad one either, for me at least.

Finally a movie that didn’t make this top 10 but certainly would make my personal one, Kingdom of Heaven. A great movie even thought Liam Neeson had a rather short part. Then there’s also Love Actually, great date movie, definitely one his best. Also he was rather badass in Sam Raimi’s Darkman way back in 1990. So what’s your favorite Liam Neeson film?

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I’ve been trying to stay as spoiler-free as possible for The Dark Knight Rises, but when The Social Network actor Josh Pence was cast as a young Ra’s Al Ghul last year it suggested Liam Neeson’s character from Batman Begins may have an influence on the story.

At the time it was mentioned Pence would be playing Ra’s Al Ghul in flashbacks, and now it appears the villain will be in another set of flashbacks with Neeson reprising the role.

Neeson confirmed he’d shot some scenes while talking to ShowBizSpy:

“I can tell you nothing about Dark Knight Rises, seriously,” says Liam. “I was on set for maybe an hour-and-a-half and the director didn’t tell me anything of what it’s about.

“So, I’m being very honest when I say I have no idea what’s going to happen.”

Christopher Nolan likes to keep audiences in the dark until the film hits, but some fans may have already figured out how Ra’s Al Ghul is connected to the third film, and Bane. I’m going to remain willingly oblivious.

The Dark Knight Rises is set for release on July 20th, 2012. Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman and Morgan Freeman will reprise their roles alongside Anne Hathaway (Catwoman), Tom Hardy (Bane), Marion Cotillard and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

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The Grey is a hell of a way to kick off 2012. It’s part horror film and part survival flick, with all of the Liam Neeson badassery you’ve come to expect from his on-screen personas over the past few years. Joe Carnahan (Neeson’s director on the under-appreciated 2010 film, The A-Team) shows he’s a filmmaker capable of far more than gritty crime dramas – this is one of the best survival films I’ve ever seen. 

I will warn you, though – if you’re going to see the movie exclusively for the wolf-boxing scene shown in the trailer, there’s a chance you’ll be a bit disappointed. But to be completely honest, that was the sole reason I was interested in this movie, and it didn’t take long for me to realize that The Grey has much more to offer than one gimmicky sequence.

John Ottman (Neeson) is a sharpshooter working at an oil refinery in Alaska. Their base camp is filled with “men unfit for mankind”: fugitives, ex-cons, the works. Ottman’s job is to protect the men working outside from wild animals, and he’s pretty damn good at it. But when their plane crashes in the Alaskan wilderness, the few surviving men must battle more than just the freezing temperatures and barren landscape to stay alive: a pack of wolves stalks their every move, killing them off one by one. Through harsh, unforgiving terrain and relentless pursuit by the wolves, the men must put their differences aside if they plan to make it out alive.

Though other films in the survival genre often touch on themes like fate and faith, The Grey overtly addresses these issues and, most importantly, does so in an interesting way. It wisely steers clear of using its characters as ciphers. (Example: it doesn’t feature one survivor as a preacher and another a doctor – GRRR, faith vs. science!) Instead, Carnahan chooses to depict his world in a startlingly bleak fashion, taking an existential approach to the survivor’s plight. Characters die in terrible and sometimes heartbreaking ways, lorded over by the pitiless whims of nature. It’s not the easiest thing to stomach, and the director goes out of his way to make us feel the hopelessness of his characters’ situation. Even the cinematography – beautiful as it is in some instances – soaks in a dreary palette, consuming the audience with the melancholy of the snow-swept mountains.

As one would expect from a Joe Carnahan film, the action is just as monumental as the picturesque backdrops. The plane crash is frantic and fierce, the most impressive I’ve seen since the one depicted in “LOST.” There is a chasm crossing reminiscent of the one in Cliffhanger, and at one point a character crashes into a tree in what is surely the most brutal and bone crunching depiction of such an act on film. I won’t go over each setpiece, but they’re all realistic and effective; Carnahan knows what looks good on screen, and he goes the extra mile to get it.

Neeson’s performance anchors the entire picture. There’s a subplot involving his character’s wife, and the actor adds an emotional heft that, if it were anyone else in this role, may not have translated well. Neeson seems to pull directly from his own life experience to reach this part of the performance (see his tragic family history regarding his own wife if you’re unfamiliar), and he effortlessly makes the quiet moments ring true. Conversely, he snarls his way through smoldering wreckage and dense forest alike as the self-imposed alpha male of the survivors, his perseverance alternately inspiring and angering his cohorts. At one point, he punctures the plane’s fuel tank and fills a thermos with gas; while he actually uses it to make torches later in the film, his character is such a hardass that it wouldn’t have been out of place if he growled and chugged that gas like a beer.

The supporting cast is full of mostly unrecognizable faces. Dermot Mulroney is the only name that I recall having seen before, and though he’s most best known for having a name oftentimes confused with actor Dylan McDermot, Mulroney was great in this movie. But the standout – aside from Neeson, of course – comes in actor Frank Grillo, who plays memorable psychopath John Diaz. (Grillo actually had a small role in Warrior, one of my favorite films of 2011.) It’s an unhinged performance full of bravado, and watching him react to his hubris was one of the most enjoyable aspects of the film for me. Maybe it was the fact that they were essentially trapped in snow, but the supporting cast of The Grey seemed to hearken back to John Carpenter’s The Thing - a bunch of guys with different philosophies forced to band together due to an outrageous circumstance, battling paranoia and the elements at the same time.

The horror elements are also on display in the form of the wolves, terrifying creatures that serve as the Monsters of the film, capable of brutal attacks from any angle at any second. Thanks to some grisly kills early in the film – many of which involve loud jump scares – Carnahan puts the audience on edge for the entire movie. Since we’ve seen what the wolves are capable of, we never fully relax as the characters move through the forest, pausing to take shelter, sit around a fire, and occasionally chat about their personal ideologies. What once would have been a fairly normal campfire conversation becomes a ticking time bomb of tension and trepidation; like this entire movie, it’s very well-executed. (Imagine the bar scene from Inglourious Basterds, but with wolves instead of Nazis.)

At its core, The Grey is a simple genre exercise about man versus nature. Thanks to some excellent filmmaking, compelling character work, and dynamic action, it rises above convention and emerges as an entertaining and accomplished movie that stands among the best survival films ever made. Until next time…

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Another big trailer debut today, this time for Wrath of the Titans. With the sequel set for release in just over three months on March 30, 2012 i’ve been wondering when Warner Bros. would start the promotional run, but it starts now.

While technically a teaser this trailer is big on special effects and money-shots, and with The Kraken being a challenge for Perseus in Clash of the Titans they’ve gone all out with the Titans in this one. Also, Sam Worthington has hair.

Watch below:

A decade after defeating the Kraken, Perseus (Sam Worthington) cannot ignore his true calling when Hades (Ralph Fiennes), along with Zeus’ godly son, Ares (Edgar Ramírez), switch loyalty and make a deal with Kronos to capture Zeus (Liam Neeson). The Titans’ strength grows stronger as Zeus’ remaining godly powers are siphoned, and hell is unleashed on earth.

Enlisting the help of the warrior Queen Andromeda (Rosamund Pike), Poseidon’s demigod son, Argenor (Toby Kebbell), and fallen god Hephaestus (Bill Nighy), Perseus bravely embarks on a treacherous quest into the underworld to rescue Zeus, overthrow the Titans and save mankind.

Jonathan Liebesman (Battle: Los Angeles) directs. What do you think? Could it be better than the first one?

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