The Squeakuel No One Was Waiting For

Oh yes, the first teaser for Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel has premiered on MTV, and it features six more X chromosomes than the original film. That’s right, The Chipettes, Brittany (Anna Faris), Jeanette (Christina Applegate) and Eleanor (Amy Poehler) are going to meet Alvin, Simon and Theodore and…

…God, who knows or cares what kind of mischief they get into?

[Check out the preview in the media box to the right, or CLICK HERE to see it at the source]

Here’s what I do know, both sets of these characters were created by Ross Bagdasarians Junior and Senior to sing popular songs pitched up in a squeaky Chipmunk-esque voice. When this was all originating with Witch Doctor in 1958, Senior Ross Bagdasarian was making novelty records and using technology unavailable to the modern consumer in making the Chipmunks talk and sing. This formula worked so well for him and his son of the same name that it wasn’t until 1982 for the Chipmunks collection of movie songs, “The Chipmunks Go Hollywood” on RCA, that a female character was needed to sing the Olivia Newton John part on “You’re The One That I Want” from Grease. Enter “Charlene The Chippette” who would eventually give birth (by providing the impetus, not through sexual contact) to the three Chippette’s now recognized.

In the modern era, since every Mac sold comes with the Garageband tools needed to pitch your own voice up to a Chipmunk, this property has become stale. With the Bagdasarians holding tight to the Chipmunk rights and with the previous kid-friendly CG/Live-Action combo film, it looks like the Chipmunks are never going to take a route that will be interesting to me ever again (like a serious story about Chipmunks in the music industry could be a Blues Brothers-like comedy with bizzaro twists). Why?

The cost to make the live action Alvin and the Chipmunks? $60 Million
The worldwide gross to date? $360,578,644.

See you this Christmas, Squeakuel. I will be drunk.