What If Michael Bay Wrote The Dark Knight?

“Bruce: We hack the internet.
Alfred: Hack the internet?
Bruce: Yes, hack the internet.
General: No one’s ever hacked the internet before.
Bruce: Well, there’s a first time for everything.
General: Okay, I like it. But which one of the internets do we hack?
Bruce: All of them.”

Sound like a Michael Bay film? Wait, there’s more!

“We pan to a beautiful woman: platinum blonde with a huge rack. She is the hottest woman in the world, but she wears glasses because she is also the smartest woman in the world.”

That is a description of Rachel Dawes, played by Maggie Gyllenhaal in the soon to be released Dark Knight. These golden nuggets of humour come from Michael Bay’s version of The Dark Knight…which Michael Bay did not write. Spill.com did. Although, they do capture the spirit of a Michael Bay film. Lots of nonsense, good looking females and explosions. Oh and cars.

To read the script by ‘Michael Bay’ click here!

Thanks to Steve for the tip!