It’s creative death time! And here’s your host, Final Destination 5!
This time around, a group of recent college graduates who all work at the same company are on a coach bus that is forced to stop on a giant suspension-bridge. One of these people has a premonition (Nicholas D’Agosto) and immediately alerts everyone to get off the bus. Naturally, only a few follow him off and the disaster begins.
If by some chance you have yet to be introduced to the Final Destination franchise, this is the go-to opening for all the installments. Funny thing this time around, is that the opening credits actually set the tone for something monumental to happen. Like, we may be watching a substantial horror flick. Then the performers start talking and the over-the-top kills begin and reality slaps you in the face…in 3D of course.
As the survivors (Emma Bell, Miles Fisher, Ellen Wroe, Jacqueline MacInnes Wood, P.J. Byrne, Arlen Escarpeta, & David Koechner) thank their lucky stars and wonder why one of them had the instincts to get off the bus, they also realize that death is still coming for them. Something that horror staple – and returning franchise character – Tony Todd ominously reminds the group during his cameo appearance.
This franchise used to dabble in trying to execute a plot in the earlier installments, but realized that the money was in the death sequences. Without spoiling the way the body count goes down (or up in this case), all one needs to know is that the gore (a blend of CGI & old-school tactics) is plentiful and will derive a chuckle after the shock-value wears off. The opening “number” is one of the best displays of technical execution along with solid kills that has been depicted in the Final Destination product.
Of course the acting blows goats, since the majority of the cast is just a hired death-pool. That said, P.J. Byrne adds a nice little comedy wrinkle; and the Tom Cruise look-alike, Miles Fisher (who he portrayed in the spoof movie Superheroes) was able to showcase a little something resembling talent. Even though David Koechner is hanging around for a bit, his role doesn’t allow him to do much other than be a pompous-ass during his first few lines. Unfortunately, the annoyingly bad performance goes to the guy who has to keep this greatest kill’s album spinning along. Please tell me that you were trying to be that bad on purpose Nicholas D’Agosto?
There’s certain trivial items (cell phones, Tony Todd’s jacket, etc) that may have one pondering when this is all taking place as this recycled, story-less tale presses on. New writer Eric Heisserer took the reins on this sequel and got a little clever with the delivery of story-line details. For instance, his script actually asks the valid question of why someone is able to have premonitions to save themselves and others, but can’t seem to outsmart death? When that moment happens, you may shake your head in disbelief and ask, “Are they finally trying to provide some answers?” At which point, the angle quickly goes away, because if they start pushing towards resolutions, there will be no sequels; leading to no easy box office dollars. Therefore, all the plot holes stay intact.
Overall, Final Destination 5 is definitely better than the last two sequels. The campy nature and pointless dialogue is just fodder to break-up the main attractions consisting of cringing and playful deaths. Translation: the 92 minute screenplay is just like a porno (just substitute kills for sex). You know what you’re getting people. And you can skip the 3D.
RATING: 3 out of 5